Overcoming Stress During Divorce: How to Breathe Smoothly and Keep Living?

The emotional state of each person is unique and is formed under the influence of thousands of factors. But, although our mental health is still shrouded in many mysteries, psychology has made great strides as a research science and a practical medical field.

Everyone has their halls of mind, but thanks to years of practice, in general, the human state of mind lends itself to analysis and is no longer something like the Mariana Trench.

Most people behave approximately the same in stressful situations. Therefore, there are various effective practices and guidelines for coping with stress. Moral upheavals that arise at critical personal moments in life, such as losing a loved one or going through a divorce, are more individual.

In both the first and second cases, the level of stress can be destructive and affect all spheres of life without exception. Some basic tips about self-control and keeping yourself in good shape during a divorce are collected in this material. It can be useful for implementing in various circumstances.

The First Rule of the Club: Talk About What Bothers You!

A fairly common reaction to a sudden moral shock is detachment and rejection of social contact. For most, such behavior is quite natural and even intuitive, but in practice, isolation in those moments when a person is most mentally vulnerable is far from the best solution.

Psychologists unanimously agree that it is better to talk about your problems out loud! It is the most effective step towards a solution, and the reason for this lies on the surface. When speaking of important and challenging moments, a person automatically analyzes the state of affairs and tries to systematize and find answers by asking questions.

When you simply share with someone a situation that worries you, you are already reducing the level of accumulated stress since you are broadcasting your experience and not collecting it inside.

At the same time, everyone chooses the format to “broadcast” for themselves. It is not fundamental since the process is essential. The ideal option is to talk with a close friend or relative, but it may even be more acceptable to confess or talk to a clergy member.

In any case, a professional psychotherapist can become something in between — both a close friend and a mediator between you and your anxiety, and the therapist’s office is also a kind of confessional. So, the main recommendation is not to keep the accumulated negativity in yourself and not to refuse support if it is offered.

The Fastest Decisions are Not Always the Right Ones

One of the rules of life of Scarlett O’Hara, the heroine of the legendary saga “Gone with the Wind,” was the setting “I’ll think about it tomorrow.” And this is a good rule for people to learn how to use today.

Divorce proceedings are an intense period involving important decisions. But to not fall under the weight of such a burden of responsibility and not to burn out from constant stress, it is essential to exhale and restructure your tasks in time.

Psychologists strongly recommend not trying to be a superhero in stressful situations. Not because you are not a superhero (each of us is a superhero with superpowers), but because even superheroes have critical moments in which they cannot effectively save the universe and fight evil at 100%.

“No one is capable of making excellent decisions during a life crisis, so take it one day at a time until you feel ready to think clearly and make rational decisions not driven by emotions,” – Ann Gold Buscho, Ph. D., commented on the topic. Overestimating your capabilities is not the best way, especially when stressed.

Survival Instruction: Don’t Self-Destruct!

According to one version, the mythical snake Ouroboros, which bit itself by the tail, symbolized eternity. But a person who morally chews on themselves is rather the opposite — the personification of the path to nowhere.

Indeed, many are prone to moral self-destruction when they are under stress. But in the case of divorce, it is essential to realize that it is a joint responsibility of the two spouses, even if only one party takes the initiative in the process.

It is doubly difficult for people with heightened hyper responsibility in such cases because they feel that they are the only ones to blame for the situation and have to clean up the rubble on their own. There can be only one piece of advice from psychologists in this case: breath evenly, literally, and figuratively!

Use Convenient Services to Organize Your Divorce

Having to absorb tons of new information is also stressful. If you are new to the divorce process, you will face many obscure points from the legal sphere, which is difficult for an inexperienced person to handle without the help of specialists.

Fortunately, many convenient and affordable online tools can make your divorce preparation process much easier. Online divorce tools can provide the support necessary to manage the crucial early stages of the divorce process without unnecessary stress.

Bob Butterworth, the co-founder of the online divorce service Thetophints.com is sure that the company’s services for the preparation of documents for filing for divorce, among other options, helps to preserve the mental health of its users. “I can confidently say that one of our missions is to minimize the stress of our customers associated with paperwork,” adds Bob.

Don’t Save Your Tears for Another Day

In stressful situations, it is important to listen to the signals your body is giving you. Sometimes self-healing processes occur unconsciously, and for this, it is not necessary to apply a plaster to the wounds. The release of emotions is normal, and you should not restrain them by committing violence against yourself.

“It’s normal and healthy to relieve both good and bad moments in time when you are married. It’s an unavoidable part of the grief process,” says licensed therapist Susan Pease Gadoua. Restraining emotions only exacerbates stress, and exiting, on the contrary, stabilizes your psycho-emotional state. Try to be more selfish in this matter and ignore the opinions of others – cry if you feel such a need!